“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That\’s what connects us–that we\’re all broken, all beautifully imperfect.” ― Emilio Estevez My Dear ones, So many thoughts have been going through my mind. So many questions over so many years. These are my thoughts on the journey of pain that most of us (yes, even your dad) must travel. It’s a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When you\’re so bent and broken, your boats are burned: nothing really matters any more. And then all of a sudden love that you thought was lost reaches down and you find that this place you were in is not so much the end of happiness as the beginning of peace. It is the greatest of struggles that produces the sweetest of victories. The sweetest of these being the restoration of what was once thought broken beyond all hope. I read this article once about restoring valuable, broken pottery. There are two ways to restore it. The ancient Eastern traders developed a method of reassembling the broken vase and \”waxing over\” the cracks in a manner that could deceive the unsuspecting customer. Only long after the trader had moved on was the vase tested by either heat or light and found to be marred and useless (This method in greek is called cincerè from which we get the word sincere which means “Tested by the light of the sun) I thought that was really cool. On the other hand, the Japanese have a tradition of artfully repairing damaged objects known as Kintsugi a method of fixing broken pottery with a lacquer resin sprinkled with powdered gold. So you can restore a broken vessel by trying to repair the break seamlessly with wax, making the break invisible, or by highlighting the damaged part, calling attention to the damage, yet creating out of that damaged piece something as or even more valuable than before. The Japanese believe such repair gives honor to the piece’s history. “Something beautiful, something good, all my confusion, He understood. All I had to offer Him, was brokenness and strife, but He made something, beautiful of my life” For most of us, brokenness is a part of our story. Just as in broken pottery, we can never make it completely disappear. We can try to patch it and hide it by \”waxing it over\”, but at some point it will be exposed for what it is and may end up hurting ourselves and others all over again…or we can come just as we are in full surrender to the Divine Potter who will create a new piece, as only He can do into something of far greater value than before it was broken. Knowing God as my Father as I now do has taught me to see the potential that exists within everyone of us to be transformed, not by discarding or \”waxing over\” the broken pieces of our lives, but by taking those broken shards and recreating them into a piece of unimaginable character and beauty. We don\’t need to look too far to find evidence of our wreckage hidden beneath denial and depression. There are so many broken vessels, expecting to be rejected and discarded the way the world and satan do, yet desperately hoping and wishing for something more substantial than the quick fix that most have become so accustomed to. In my journey along this rediscovered pathway to the life God intended for me all along, I have learned some amazing life changing truths that are worth sharing. They have proven to be so much more than the empty, trite advice of the many amateur providences who love to see us get ahead in life, as long as its not ahead of them, and more lasting than the psycho-bable and self medication which at the end of the day only served to bring me down deeper into pain and despair. That One Thing My quest now is to dig deep and find that one thing that I believe I was created for. That God given purpose that deep down has always fired me up…my primal cause. My reason for being. We all have it, but so few find it because of the distractions along the way…the shiny objects along life\’s pathway, the secondary causes that show up disguised as urgent and important and the present traps the enemy sets for us based upon our broken past experiences …all of these are his tactics to steal, kill and destroy. But we are bigger and better not because of who we are, but in spite of who we are because of the one that permanently abides in me. There are many great things that have come to pass out of the most painful circumstances and greatest sadness. How foolish it would be to try to separate those events from the resultant prize? We must always remember that God is who He says he is and he does what he says he will do, but he will never override your personal choice. The key is to examine every path on the basis of pleasing ONLY him and you WILL find that one thing. We all want that whether we now know it or not and when it eludes us we are incomplete, frustrated and just plain miserable. Yet for some reason we would rather endure the price of the pain and struggle of that misalignment or dissonance than the lesser pain of change. If we knew without doubt the priceless rewards of a full engagement with our purpose would we not risk our very life for it, yet alone the reputation, acceptance and approval of peers, or even personal comfort? One of my mentors reminds me that very often it takes the pain of staying the same to become greater than the pain of change before we will do anything about it. Most of the time we don’t have the best in life because we think its too costly. Or